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Jury Duty aaa

Published on Tue, Jun 26, 2012 by Laura Snyder

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I love my country.  I love democracy.  I think it’s great that, in America, you are innocent until proven guilty by a jury of your “peers.”
            According to Mr. Webster, a peer is defined as a person of equal standing, as in rank, class or age.  In other words, someone very similar to the accused person.
            Why then, was I, a 50-year old woman with no criminal record and a mile-long to-do list, called in to jury duty for a nineteen-year old boy accused of a dalliance with an under-aged girl?
            Why didn’t they call a bunch of nineteen-year old boys who had been accused of the same crime?
            What in heaven’s name made me a peer to this young man?  I don’t even own an iPod and I wouldn’t know what to do with it if I did.
            I have no idea how a nineteen year old boy thinks.  Who would?... with the exception of another nineteen-year old boy.
            I’ve had two nineteen-year old boys of my own living with me and I still don’t know what in the world they were thinking! 
            Girls were certainly high on the list, though.  I know this because the bathroom always smelled like Axe products when they were done in there.
            I couldn’t, by the most amazing stretch of imagination, be considered a “peer” for this young man.  So what on earth was I doing there?  And what were the other people who were my peers doing there? It’s as if they simply chose our names at random!
            Okay, so I knew that…
            Put me on the case of a mom who was doing 60 in a 35 zone because her 3-year old had to potty and she forgot to put a Pull-up in her purse.  That woman is my peer!
            Show me a woman who was caught on the outside ledge of a high-rise because her kid threw his binky out there and he wouldn’t stop screaming.  Definitely a case of temporary insanity!
            Seat me in a jury of other moms who could have been arrested as a “Peeping Tom” for peering in the windows of a preschool to make sure their child had stopped crying.  Not guilty, I say! She had no choice!
            Tell me of the case of a woman caught climbing a tree to break into a second story window while her children watched from a car at the curb.  Been there, done that.  Obviously, she locked herself and her kids out of the house!
            These women are my peers.  I can say, without a doubt, that I could deliver an informed verdict on these cases.
            But a nineteen-year old boy with too much time on his hands?  All I know for sure is that if he had been with my daughter, I would’ve removed his testicles.  Other than that… I got nothing.