Lake Stevens Journal - Your hometown newspaper since 1960

 

Reboot This!

 

April 8, 2010



My computer is on the blink… again. How can it be that the one appliance in our homes and businesses that we depend on the most, is also the one that is the most unreliable?

Have you ever had to reboot your refrigerator to get it to cool your food? Does your dryer take forever to get to the Permanent Press cycle after you’ve told it to go there? How long would you keep your toaster if it simply beeped at you after you’ve directed it to crisp your bagel?

If my car randomly decided to shut itself off in the middle of the interstate, I would have replaced it. Unfortunately, I just bought this computer a year ago!

My husband is unreasonable when I complain to him about my computer. “I don’t suppose it occurred to you to reboot it?” he always asks. Has it occurred to him that I don’t need to reboot anything else I own? He doesn’t seem to understand that I don’t wish to close everything I’m working on to give my computer an energy boost. It takes a half hour to close everything, shut down normally, if possible, and then reboot it. Then you have to get all the programs back up again to start working. If I had that kind of time to waste every day, I’d use my treadmill more often. Maybe.

If an office worker was caught organizing her drawers for a half-hour every day, she’d be transferred to shipping and receiving. If a construction worker sat on an I-beam thinking about working for a half hour every day, he would not have a job for very long. So why is it okay that my computer needs to be rebooted every day?

My husband says I should check my settings. Who would provide a setting for “Go into infinite loop once a day and shut down for absolutely no reason at random increments?” Not only that, but who in their right minds would use this setting as the default?

Now people, I have patience. I have demonstrated that patience through years of guiding children through thumb-sucking, toilet training, name calling, whining, and explaining once again, why video games are limited. I have persevered through hundreds of flash cards, and the infamously tedious task of making bunny ears to tie their little shoes. All five of my children lived through this because of my patience.

However, this computer may just make history by being the first object I’ve ever thrown off a tall building without looking to see where it landed.

In the meantime, at least all my other appliances can be counted on to work all the time, every day, for years at a time. Otherwise, I would go stark-raving mad. I might start to reconsider all my life choices from the time I was able to consider, and my life might be that of a hermit; a very un-technological hermit.

Is it time for a MAC?

 

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