Lake Stevens Journal - Your hometown newspaper since 1960

 

Secrets for improving your relationships

 

July 10, 2012



Putting yourself first may be the key to improving your relationships with others.

While this may not sound like an intuitive way to improve your friendships, some experts now believe that by connecting with who we are at the core, we can become more aware of how our feelings govern our interactions and make better choices in the way we communicate.

Some of the signs that you’re allowing your unconscious thoughts to sabotage your relationships include:

• Making the assumption that the other person is in the wrong when your expectations are not met.

• Placing conditions on your love.

• Displaying a victim mentality.

• Feeling powerless.

• Being resentful.

• Reacting defensively.

• Listening to others in a negative context.

• Becoming withdrawn in your relationships.

• Questioning your commitment to others.

The failure to recognize the source of your feelings is a lot like the annoying static you hear when you aren’t properly tuned in to a radio station. So instead of just reacting the next time you’re upset with someone, try tuning-in to yourself. You may find your first reaction isn’t the best reaction.

This awareness is crucial to better communication and functional relationships, according to an expert, who advises taking the following helpful steps:

• Commit to an empowered relationship, don’t just want one.

• Realize that forgiving is not condoning an act.

• Know that when someone specifically aims judgment at you personally, it never has anything to do with you. Quite the contrary, it says more about them than it does about you!

• Take responsibility for your own emotional and mental state and avoid placing blame on others.

• Love unconditionally.

• Be willing to transform yourself.

Extraordinary relationships are possible for those willing to be open, transform themselves, truly listen, and love unconditionally. By doing so, we can achieve a level of insight into ourselves and one another that we never thought possible.

 

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